Here On Earth
A very few people can be eligible for an intense surgery that has the potential to remove the cancer, but you loose all of your inner lining, fatty tissue and any belly parts that may have been affected. Most often, once the big cut happens, they find the disease has gone too far. Every step of the way are obstacles to get through, tests to pass to be eligible for this surgery.. There are only six hospitals in Canada that are able to do this operation and we are so lucky that this procedure is done right near us in Toronto, and that one of the world’s top teams does it, and that our country's taxpayers would foot the bill.
Wendy had her own somewhat less serious situation going on. What the heck, we thought. Talk about having to put into action everything the CDs have taught us over the years about creating the preferred outcome!
As of the last newsletter Dave was not comfortable being public, but that all has changed. We needed help, a lot of help, to fly through the meteor shower that our lives were passing through and we needed all hands on deck. We asked for help. We shared our story with friends and family and had a ‘chat line’ on Face Book of Lantern keepers, some of the best and wisest healers I know as a first call support team.
We started a Face Book group for Dave’s colleagues, friends and family so that I could update everyone at once. The chat group I called on for months for advice, opinions, faith and encouragement.
We held the slogan ‘Best Possible Outcome’ and my Soul Sister in Australia got the T-shirt, and wore it.
It takes a village to save a life, to make miracles happen. What we learned from everyone involved is that in being open, sharing our story, and allowing help from everyone, we created space for a community to evolve. We heard from so many that they felt empowered when they had something to do, they had a place to put their energy into action rather than worry!
One friend set up a gofundme to pay bills while we are off work, and to pay for supplements and stuff needed for home convalescence. I was focused, as Mary suggested, on the Best Possible Outcome. If I needed a hospital bed, that could happen, but we set up a recliner instead. Short term. People made bone broths, probiotic drinks, Wendy and Dave’s sons took shifts with Dave and my daughters took cooked, brought breakfasts and dinners to the hospital, a colleague loned us her condominium, literally 2 subway stops away.
And the prayers. We felt them all. It is true, everything Red taught in the CD on Prayers. We were buoyed up by them, we navigated our way through by them, we learned to trust life, and to let it flow. We literally surfed the waves of hope and intention for Best Possible Outcome that our village held for us, and that intention, held by so many loving people, carried us to shore. It was an intense operation, we have the report. During a scary part, I asked for extra prayer, and on the report it shows, how he suddenly stabilized and they were able to continue with the operation.
As Wendy neared her loved one's hospital date, we asked for lanterns for her. She told me she woke up one morning full of hope and energy. I told her I had asked for the focus to shift to her. The prayer group just held for both of us. You know, it does not diminish the sun to shine on two trees instead of one, love is like that.
Both Wendy and I are home looking after our loved ones today. Both are alive and doing well, recovering very quickly.
Dave has against all odds, made it through the surgery, missing only a spleen, gallbladder, and much of his colon and intestines, all of his lining (peritoneum) and fatty tissue (omentum). He does not have a bag and all his vital organs are intact, albeit a little raw. They got 97% of the cancer out of him and believe that the hot chemo flush he had during the operation would get the last little bit. He is a very, very rare survivor of this horrid disease. A miracle happened.
He was home at exactly 2 weeks, like he told the surgeons when they told him it would be four weeks in the hospital.
When the doctors came in and found him sitting up strumming his ukulele, they decided he would do better at home and here we are.
I am able to be his full time nurse and personal chef. We have had our local acupuncturist and RTM come in for body work, and once Wendy’s charge is up and about she will be by as well. A holistic nutritionist gave us council, nurses come every other day, people come to give me breaks so I can restock and get out of the house. We have an entire village of support that has allowed Dave to not only be alive, but to thrive. It is a long road of recovery ahead, he is still pretty weak and has lost a lot of weight, but we are not alone in this. We have never been alone.
We need to learn his new body’s needs and increase nutrition.
We used all the information in the virus and bacteria CD to work with his body bacteria, and all the wisdom we gleaned from the Body Consciousness CD.
We navigate the things that happen, and when emergencies arise we turned to our village for advice. Two women who have gone through this procedure share their experienced knowledge and our very enlightened friends offer homeopathic, herbal, spiritual and psychological advice. Musicians come and play music.
It does take a village to save a life, to make miracles happen.
We are living proof of that. We are so fortunate to have had the training from the Council's teachings to work with, so fortunate to have so many friends in spirit as well as those of you here in the flesh and blood.
I am so grateful to all of you who held me, carried me and calmed me through this horrendous journey. Great gratitude to the staff of Mount Siani who were brilliant and amazingly compassionate and kind.
Thank you life. Thank you village. We made it. We have a future.
Dave says, please, when you are in trouble, let people in, let them help. It gives people a way to contribute, to be part of a really good outcome.
Everyone involved in this village have grown and evolved through this 'Best Possible Outcome''. Who knew that intention would embrace and heal so much! Any past misunderstandings were healed, so many people were drawn in to the love, and came to be very close to us. Even the ICU, step down and regular floor nurses cried as we were leaving, so happy for Dave they were.
We were surprised at the people we did not know well who showed up and gave so much support. We made new deeper friendships.
It seems our call brought many together, including people Dave had not heard from in decades and even a letter from someone who wanted to thank Dave for the impact he had on his life at a chance meeting 30 odd years ago!
Our call for Best Possible Outcome healed rifts and deepened bonds, many people showed their true colours to be colours of love. Love gathers love. Hope gathers hope. Those that responded became our village.
All we had to do was ask for help and it was there, tenfold. We learned that it really is a friendly universe. Thank you for the miracle. Thank you for Dave's life.
..Update. The cancer came back as of September 2016... now we begin the chemo rounds still filled with hope, faith and support from so many for
BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME
We ask our friends to imagine something very fun you are sharing with us, an adventure, a story, a precious momenbt shared.. and anchor us in that future memory of yours. We'll do our best to see you there!
The Chemo slowed things down and we were able to sail on Bras'D'Or Lake in NS for part of the summer, of 2017 with lots of help from friends.
But it was continuing to grow, and when we returned in the fall Dave was entered into an immunotherapy drug trial at PMH in Toronto. It slowed down a bit but then took off in the spring of 2018 and soon Dave looked like he was 6 months pregnant, all tumour.
We got in to another drug trial at the National Cancer Institute in Maryland, but Dave was no longer well enough to work so had to take a leave of absence that became full on retirement as he weakened. The new drug trial, Olaparib came with side effects and his legs were swollen up, he was miserable. In October, they took him off the drug trial in Maryland as he was way too weak. I was so grateful for master healer Carol S.P. living right near the hotel, and his time she was in town!
The drive home was much more comfortable and he had the first signs of an appetite in a long while! With diet and herbs, we got the swelling down, the calcium levels under control and got him comfortable again, but the cancer kept growing and his body did not want to eat. I understand now, when the cancer is taking all the resources, sometimes the body decides to just stop feeding it.
He was sleeping most of the time, and soon getting up the stairs to bed was impossible and me carrying him up was not the best solution, so we brought in a hospital bed and set him up by the windows so he could look at on the land.
This was Saturday November 10th, and we had organized everyone to send energy at 11:11 that morning, before the bed came. A friend came to hold space and the room was filled with light, but his body could no longer hold a charge.
I asked his sons to move in and they took turns sleeping in the living room with me and their Dad to help with night care. My daughter in Toronto took compassionate leave from her job and also moved in to cook, clean and care for us, while we cared for Dave. My eldest came to help get beds ready for three of Dave's friends who were driving in from New Brunswick that week. Her husband took time off work to care for their young children. A special mattress was brought in that was plugged in and it kept warm air undulating so as to prevent any bedsores. He could not eat and swallowing was hard, so we made ice chips of apple, pear, mango, cherry, blueberry juices with electrolytes and fed him these treats.
Other friends began to drop by, to say goodbye. Our doctor was making house calls and nurses and personal support workers were coming, it was busy. His sons and I took turns sitting with him though he mostly slept. Both his brothers had been able to come earlier, His younger one from BC came in September along with some of his Nova Scotian friends and his elder brother came in October from BC. He was able to gain consciousness enough to hear them when we called late Tuesday night, and they could say goodbye.
Wednesday more friends came to quietly say goodbye and Wendy was here all day with us. I called Cindy the essence maker to ask what essence of hers we could put in the diffuser to aid his transition. Gentle Waves is what she chose.
We spoke together, his eyes intent on mine and I commented that dying was like being born, his body was pushing his spirit out, and that feeling of having to get up and run was just his spirit trying to leave. Just as his body had reacted at birth. that need, that urge that is stronger than anything else was moving through him.
‘Let’s trust your body my love, it knows what it is doing.’
Around 8:15, as Dave’s youngest was playing guitar and singing softly to his Dad and the rest of us were finishing supper in the kitchen, Wendy commented on how he was harmonizing with his son, with the soft moaning breaths he was exhaling. We were watching this beautiful exchange when the power went out.
I got candles lit and was about to call the equipment team about the bed, which was deflating down to it’s pad.. when I realized. Throwing the phone to my daughter, I called the boys and the three of us held him as the moonlight streamed in on him. Candles and firelight flickering, we told him how much he was loved as he calmly drew his last breath, and he was gone.
In the candlelight, after the nurse arrived to do the pronouncement, we bathed his body with water my daughter had heated up on the wood stove and added essential oils and essences. We dressed him in some of his favourite things, sailboat socks, tie died undies, and a dress shirt over a favourite T-shirt, and let the fire die down to keep the house cold. There was to be a wake the next day.
The power came on when we were all finished and we bundled up on this coldest night of the year, one son and I still sleeping by him, the others upstairs.
The laneway was lined with cars, food and drink were plentiful as at 11:11 people began to come to say goodbye. There were stories and tears. February 2nd, there is a gathering of friends and family for a full on Concert for Dave, a musical tribute to his life. Cancer won his life, but not his heart, his mind nor his dignity. His body fought bravely as long as it could, and when it could fight no more, it stopped allowing the cancer to feed and gently pushed his spirit out.
He had a good death. In the end, that is all we could give him.
It Takes a Village
February means we survived January, and for many around the world, it has been an intense beginning of this new Gregorian year.
We have been called to sobriety, to become responsible earth citizens, and to learn how to create a better future.
Wendy and I spent most of the first week together at Mount Siani Hospital where my beloved underwent an 18 hour operation to remove all the asbestos tumours from his abdomen. Peritoneal Mesothelioma is a very rare and deadly disease that strikes mostly older white men who have a history with asbestos.
You have to have eaten some in the past 20 to 50 years as that is how long it takes for ingested asbestos to form a network of tumours that invade the lining of the body. It is not detectable in any tests, and as it is a longstanding part of the body by then, it does not show up even for the best of healers. It is usually far too late before it is detected to offer more than a few months of palliative care.
It was discovered because during a hernia operation in September the surgeon came across a little lump of what he thought was fatty tissue, and ‘Just to be on the safe side’ sent it in for a biopsy. The diagnosis that followed came the same day Dave found out his brother had died of a heart attack in northern BC.
It was devastating news and I was scared.